As a struggling freelance writer/editor/proofreader, I find it oh so tempting to accept whatever someone is willing to pay me because, well, I need the money. My little family needs the money. And really, what does it matter right? Ten bucks is ten bucks, even if it is ten bucks earned for plugging some crap product on my blog or writing a 300 word article on how to put together a bookshelf. Content writing is a big business and why shouldn’t Ezmy have a part of that pie, however small the crumb might be? Right?

Wrong.

April 2’s resolution: remember what I’m worth.

I am an intelligent person and a decent writer. I’m a fantastic editor and proofreader (except when it comes to my own work, which I seem to care less about). And I need to remember that I’m worth more than $5/hour or $1/page. And that it is totally acceptable for me to refuse jobs that pay in the equivalent of buttons or peanuts (unless you are a good friend who would like to exchange writing/proofing/editing for awesome buttons or fresh roasted peanuts).

I was fantastically successful with this resolution today. Yaya me! Now to maintain this momentum…

HA! No. That was my lame attempt at an April Fool’s joke. It’ll be awhile before we do that again. I have a sort of ‘been there, got the T-shirt’ feeling towards pregnancy at present.

But given that it’s the first of the month, how about a review of the resolutions thus far?

“Good idea, Ezmy.”

Why thank you.

Resolution successes include:

*Finishing the wedding thank yous.  Ok, so they aren’t mailed out but they are almost mailed out. I have to put pictures in them and A. has to complete some of his family ones. But that’s still better than nothing. I give it til the end of next week.

*Stay in touch: I’ve emailed my brother a few times and text messaged photos of Budsie. Oh and I sent a couple of real letters, one to SZ and one to CW, so yayaya! Next real letter recipients? DS, NW, AB, and MF methinks (now I wonder if you know who you are…)

*Hunt down EI jerks: Well, I haven’t done that exactly. But I have insisted on going in front of a panel of reviewers to have my case reviewed again. I will prevail!

*Keep a plant alive: Edmund is still alive! And he doesn’t look too depressed.

*Sell wedding dress: Ok, it’s not sold but it is posted on Kijiji and PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com. Woot!

*Have totally awesome Thursdays: yesterday’s photo session = awesome success. Next week? No idea but I suspect beverages will be consumed.

Not so successful:

*Getting the damn CD out of this computer: Frankly, I’m just scared to try. Might be a better idea to bring it in somewhere…

*Tackle junk piles: So I managed to get the one in front of the fireplace sorted out but two more junk piles replaced it, one on my desk and one in my cupboard. How? Are they procreating? Sigh. Also, someone made my purse a mess again. And my diaper bag. Not me, but someone. Double sigh.

*Mascara eyes: I have no idea what my problem is here.

Today was a pretty great day. I had super good times this the morning with SM, a new friend and photographer who helped me out with some last minute head shots for ‘A is for Alsace’. I spent the late morning/early afternoon feeling pretty jazzed about being a new contributor to A Little Bit of Food Sense, and eating way too many awesome apple muffins which are totally going in my next post for this nifty food blog. My lovely lady friend, Miss Knit, had her baby, IC, so now Budsie has a new little pal to chill with. And A. is on vacation until Monday so there are so many fun family times ahead!

So with all of this awesomeness, how did I manage to fit in a resolution too? Easy! Resolution for March 31: not let stomach issues hold me back from doing and enjoying awesome times. All too often I end up rescheduling on people because of my gut. And I could have rescheduled this morning but I really wanted to do the head shot fun and I’ll be damned if some digestive organ and his mean gang of insufficient enzymes are going to get in my way. Booyah! So in addition to getting to the root of the problem, I’m going to kick the problem’s psychological ass too. Hiyah!

I’m not really sure why I’m shouting out things for emphasis…it’s getting late…off to bed for me!

That made you want to read this post, eh? Sigh.

I stole the phrase “rotten bowels” from the lovely Vegetable Valhalla, a lass I know from my brief time in Halifax. This phrase accurately captures my sentiments towards my digestive organs at present. Jerks. So sick, so often. Boo.

Years back, when I was living an excessive and ridiculous lifestyle in Toronto, I had heaps of stomach problems. So I went to the clinic and the (very handsome) doctor told me that he thought it was a) IBS, b) Ulcerative colitis or c) Crohn’s Disease. Pfft I thought at the time. More like Eat-Too-Frequently-At-McDonald’s Disease. Or Three-Pints-Per-Day Disease. Handsome Doctor wanted me to go in for a bunch of tests which sounded most horrible so I decided that his handsome medical opinion was stupid and inconvenient and I made the highly educated decision to ignore his handsome self. I stopped eating at McD’s, I cut back on the alcohol consumption a bit and I felt a teensy bit better.

When I lived in NS, I had terrible stomach problems. But I also had a terrible boyfriend and terrible anxiety issues (caused by the terrible boyfriend). So I figured these issues were all linked together in a trifecta of terribleness, and I continued to ignore things.

Then, when A. was in K-town, I got really really really sick. A lot. For weeks. This time I was a little more proactive but only so far as cutting back on my bottle per night wine habit, getting one blood test to eliminate Celiac’s as the potential culprit, and honing in on endometriosis because one doctor thought this might be the problem. Endometriosis, while not fun, is certainly much more fun than digestive woes and so I chose to settle on it as the culprit for my pain. By the time I was supposed to go in for a laproscopy to figure shit out, I was pregnant with Ewan so I just didn’t worry about it.

And the thing is, it could be endometriosis. But these days, I’m starting to wonder. And what that means is that I really, really, REALLY need to just swallow the bullet and go get a battery of tests down to figure out what the hell is up. Because I am too sick, way too often. It’s getting ridiculous and it’s starting to affect my quality of life. BOO! That’s the resolution for today, folks: Call the doctor and set up an appointment. Fix this problem up! Or at least learn to manage it.

Not exactly a fun resolution, I know. But Budsie and I are going for walking adventures today so maybe something cool and interesting and funny will happen that I can write about.

An update on previous resolutions: Wedding thank yous = SO CLOSE to being done. Woot! Also, diaper laundry = done! And pilates is still going well although I hate the DVD girl, her flat abs and perky smile. Punch. In. Face.

So I love my cloth diapers. I love how easy they are and I love the colours. I’m a little frustrated that pants don’t fit Budsie properly but whatever.

What I do NOT like about my diapers is the laundry. And it’s not really even the laundry itself that’s the problem – it’s that I forget to do it and then get stuck with disposable diapers and (much worse for my boy’s derriere) wipes and stinky garbage. Ugh. And if you too use cloth diapers, you know what happens if you wait an extra day to get to that laundry. Ick ick ick smell. Blech.

The trick is to pop the diapers in the wash when the kid is in the last one. Seems straightforward enough but somehow I always drop the ball. So that’s today’s resolution: get to the dang diapers before the troll smell does. I’m really going to give this one my all. The smell is just too awful.

Oops, I had more to write but I’ve been sicky today…boo. Will write more later perhaps.

Skimps on the resolutions that is. Because I find it difficult to change habits or fix things that needed be fixed 300 years ago when I have a project on the go. Perhaps I should resolve to be a less whole-hearted person. But that seems like a lame idea.

Anyway, I did do a couple of things differently over the last couple of days. Resolution for March 27: figure out my Moby Wrap. I have two carriers, see, an Ergo and a Moby. I thought having a couple of options would be nice, particularly as A. and I are, you know, built differently. And I assumed (correctly) that the spiffy knapsack look to the Ergo would be more appealing to A. than the wrap. However, after a few attempts with the Moby, attempts which saw Budsie nearly fall down my front to the floor and which caused me to curse loudly, I gave up. Not permanently, I thought at the time, just until the kid can hold up his own head and doesn’t scream whenever I move him an inch from my boobage.

Yesterday was that time. The weather will get warmer (I mean it has to right? It can’t stay winter forever…right??) and the Ergo is far too heavy for me in the summer. So I pulled out the Moby, plunked Budsie on the bed and while he rolled around, I tried to figure out this giganto piece of cloth.  I do wish I could have taken pictures – I imagine a couple of the attempts to get Budsie strapped to me looked pretty darn hilarious. Alas, my little boy is no good with a camera so your imagination will have to suffice. It took SEVERAL attempts before we found one that worked. But we did find it. YAYA!

And the resolution for March 28? Remember that Monday’s are the day the grocery order needs to go through.I have a standing produce order which my handsome delivery boy brings to me on Fridays but I need to remember to add soy milk and bread so that Budsie isn’t stuck eating crappy bread all week and I’m not stuck drinking over-priced soy beverage. Success for today…we’ll see if I can remember again next week.

On an unrelated note, when you’ve been editing using track changes for the past two days, regular typing is weird. I need to go to bed now as I seem to be seeing red and blue where there is no red or blue. Tata!

Some of you might remember that before I got married, I purchased two wedding dresses. The first was purchased before I got pregnant and the second was purchased during a brief moment of ohmygodtheweddingisintwomonthshowwillieverweartheweddingdress insanity. I was in fact able to wear the first one, so the second one stayed in its garment bag and made its way to the back of my closet. It now spends its time with my prom dress and a black lace-y number I haven’t worn since my cousin’s wedding in 2006.

I have a really hard time getting rid of dresses. I’m pretty ruthless when it comes to most clothing, particularly shirts, but dresses, purses and shoes often stay waaaay past their expiration date. Only when I moved out with A. did I finally get rid of my pink platform running shoes (you read that right) circa 1995. A small, faux alligator, pentagon-shaped bag and a red and gold square clutch have never seen the light of day. And the prom dress? When am I ever going to wear a floor length spearmint green number with rhinestone straps? Particularly one that was made for an 18 year old with an abnormally small waist and crazy huge boobage. Never, that’s when.

But a wedding dress is really pushing it. Especially one that I didn’t actually wear to my wedding and that is now four sizes too big. So the resolution for March 26: put Wedding Dress Number Two up for sale. A. is going to take pictures tonight and then up for sale it goes. So if you know anyone getting married this summer…

An update on previous resolutions: Pilates everyday might not kill you, but your stomach will never unflex again. Just in case you wondered.

Oh the sun is out and all the little furry animals are scurrying about. Cute? Yes. Irritating when one forgets to put the garbage in the bin and instead leaves it on the deck over night? Oh very. Over the winter it didn’t matter if I forgot to do this because the cats/raccoons/squirrels/skunks were too busy being cold to care about what goodies were buried in the garbage. But last night I put two kitchen bags of garbage out and forgot to put them in the bin. By the time I remembered, it was 10pm and I didn’t want to put them in the bin. The bin is under our back stairs you see, and it’s scary under there.

That’s right. I’m now dealing with piles of rotting food on my deck because I was too scared to go out in the dark. Good god Ezmy.

So resolution for March 25? Always take garbage straight down to the bin.

I was far too busy for blogging yesterday. The morning started off with me packing up clothes (successful March 23 resolution! Thank you Kijiji) to send to a foster baby in small town Ontario. Then it was off for coffee with LG, then back for more organizing of clothes (putting together another box for Boomerang) and then laundry, cooking, and of course playtime with the kiddo. Phew!

What I wanted to blog about yesterday was this:

While walking in the sunny sunshine, I passed all of these high school kids who were walking home at the end of the school day. Crowds of them laughing about, not one of them wearing a coat even though it was below zero (remember that? Remember being too cool for coats??HA! Bring on the coat I say!). And I suddenly remembered how much I used to LOVE Thursdays when I was in school. Not as much as Fridays, of course, but in high school, Thursdays were the beginning of relaxation time. I could stay up late on Thursday night because all that was left was Friday. Oh and I never had a band or choir practice Friday morning, so I could go in later if I wanted to. Woot!

Thursdays maintained their status as second best day of the week through the first two years of my undergrad because a) I considered Friday classes optional (I considered all classes optional during these two years but Fridays particularly so) and b) there were always wicked drink specials on Thursdays (1$ drinks at Blues House? YES PLEASE!). Even in my last three years of undergrad and into grad school, when I was much more serious, I often goofed around on Thursdays knowing that I only had one class the next day and I could probably manage it hungover.

When you’re at home with a baby, days start to lose all meaning. And that makes me feel out of touch with the rest of the world. So the resolution for yesterday is this: try to do awesome things on Thursdays. Set dates with LG or go to the pub with A. or try something new with the kiddo or whatever. Make Thursdays rock again. I wasn’t super successful with this yesterday but I’m sure as hell going to succeed next week. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet…but it’s going to kick ass.

A. and I spent Sunday shopping for the Budsie (thank you, leftover HBC wedding gift cards!). He’s almost 10 months old now but is built like a 1 year old, except for his caboose which rivals the average 2 year old. PJs were in order as were some spring T-shirts, light sweaters and sweatpants. Oh and socks. So basically everything.

I’ve been pretty good about culling Budsie’s wardrobe every so often, removing the too small stuff and whatnot. But this organization has only gone so far as putting the too small clothes into a now very full cardboard box. What I really need to do is sit down and sort through these clothes to decide what can be consigned and what can’t. And I suppose I have to consider whether or not we should keep anything for, you know, future use. However, since the idea of having a second kid scares the ever-loving crap out of me, I’m choosing to think about ‘future use’ as ‘for donation to a special nephew’.

So that’s the resolution for March 23: sort clothes and decide what goes and what stays. Then tomorrow, Budsie and I will make a trip out to Boomerang Kids and see what’s what.

In other news, while I hate most kids’ shows, I have recently discovered ‘Penguins of Madagascar’ and may I just say: AWESOME. So the list of acceptable cartoons now includes:

*Penguins of Madagascar

*Charlie and Lola

and

*Little Princess

Just in case you wondered.

Before having Ewan, I graduated from my beginner DVD to my intermediate DVD for yoga. Enter Rodney Yee and the cursed headstand. Oh and the damn crow pose. I’m pretty decent at balance poses; indeed, I prefer them (standing in a version of tree pose while doing dishes? Yeah I’m that type of lady). But I just can’t seem to get myself into a headstand (here’s where having an instructor would probably help…if only I could afford classes). It’s against my natural instincts. Something in my head says “standing on your head ain’t right, Ezmy” every time I try to go for it. And you can’t chicken out half way through a headstand – it’s sort of an all or nothing event. As for the crow pose, oddly, in spite of being able to cart around a 23lb weight all day, I don’t seem to have the upper body strength for this yet. So every time Mr. Yee makes this damn pose look easy, I want to punch him in the face.

Therefore the resolution for March 22: to master everything on this intermediate DVD, including the headstands and crow pose, by the end of the year. I returned to almost daily yoga practice a short time after Ewan was born so this really shouldn’t be a problem (although much of my yoga recently has been meditative rather than salutations and such…). I figure as long as I make a date with Mr. Yee every second day or so, I should ultimately be successful. We shall see.

An update on previous resolutions: My abs are crying. And mashed prunes, much like mashed potatoes, need to be cleaned immediately. If not sooner.