(Again with the forgetting to post things…well, you’ll just have a lot to read. And really, what better way to spend a Monday morning, right? Right.)

Today is Friday the 13th. This means absolutely nothing to me – I just thought I’d remind you.

Today is also Ezmy’s Night Out day. Unsurprisingly, having a baby really cuts into one’s social schedule. Damn babies, always stealing your time. The nerve. Anyway, I’m going out to the pub with LG tonight and am trying to pick something to wear. Before having children, going to the pub was a non-event that required no outfit planning whatsoever. Even when I was single, pub outings simply meant popping on my best pair of jeans and whatever shirt looked sexy, but not too sexy. A ‘oh this old thing?’ type of shirt. You know what I mean.

Since having Budsie, I find myself getting excited about wearing clothes and accessorizing with items that I simply can’t wear with the him around. Big earrings, necklaces, bracelets, small purses, nicer shirts and dresses that I’d like to see free of baby excrement, etc. Honestly, I just get so jazzed about the whole thing it’s a wonder I don’t walk out of the house looking like a Christmas tree, with every bracelet and bobble I own dangling from my person. But of course I don’t. Instead, I usually go with an old favourite necklace, a big gaudy ring that I adore, and a sleek black purse that goes well with everything.

It was while searching for said purse that I realized I should be making the most of these evenings out and trying out some new purses. As previously mentioned, I have a bunch of purses I never use. I could just get rid of them, but I feel as though I haven’t really given them a sporting chance to demonstrate their usefulness on an evening out. The sleek black number always gets preferential treatment and that seems unfair. So today’s resolution: extend the clothing resolution to the purses. Try them out and if they don’t work with anything, off to the Salvation Army they go. First up: the red faux leather clutch with gold hardware, purchased  in 1997 and used a total of three times since then. Wish her luck!

*Don’t chaaaaange me….and if you try to hold me back I might explode, baby by now you should know: I can’t be tamed!*

For some reason, I’m listening to this. I blame my sister for putting it on our wedding song list. I blame myself for not taking it off. I worry about myself for finding it catchy. Damn you, Miley Cyrus.

Anyway.

I couldn’t find my phone charger yesterday. But while I was looking for it in the disaster zone that is our room, it occured to me that much of the reason that our room looks the way it does is because it also houses all of Budsie’s stuff. Budsie’s room has been a work in progress for quite some time, due in no small part to the fact that it’s next to impossible to paint with a baby who naps inconsistently. That and the colour I chose required three coats. Oops. But A. has applied all three coats now so really, the only thing standing between me and a child-free/less clutter-y bedroom is the trim that I said I would paint. I said I would paint it and I meant it, but then I promptly forgot that I said it. Oh Ezmy.

So that’s today’s resolution: finish painting Budsie’s room. Tonight, when he goes to bed, I’m going to throw on my sexy painting clothes and paint the damn trim. Let’s get this kid into his own space! And perhaps in the move, I’ll find my cell phone charger. I’m really starting to wonder about this little white plastic box…where on Earth could it be??

In other news, I’m hoping to take Budsie to his first of what will likely be many rallies today. The “March for Life” anti-choice weanies are marching on Parliament Hill and (provided nap time allows) we’re going to join the pro-choice presence and do a little rallying of our own. I considered the fact the I’m imposing my views about this on my child, but I decided that if he wants to hate me for that when he’s older, he’s welcome to. This is an important issue for Mummy, Mr. Budsie, and she wants you to see that making yourself heard on important issues is, well, important.

*Thiiiisss is hoooow we doooo it. This is how we do it.* LG’s fault.

A. has at various points referred to my cell phone as “that thing that takes up space in [my] purse”. He’s not that far off, although I think I’ve gotten better since getting the iPhone4 because I like to have it on hand as a kid distraction on the bus (yaya for the camera feature that allows Budsie to admire himself as much as he likes). Still, I often forget to charge the damn thing, which is just ridiculous because there are two ways to do this – plug into wall or plug into keyboard. No excuses really.

Until today. Well, until a few days ago but I, ever the procrastinator, have managed to ignore it until today. I can’t find the damn wall charger. This is troubling as I never, EVER remember to charge the phone in the computer. Over the past couple of months I had developed a close to regular pattern of plugging the phone into the wall at night, so really the charger should be in the wall. But it’s not. Hmpf. I don’t think it’s in the kid…that strikes me as something I would have noticed. It’s too big to be in the cat. And that means it’s *gasp* somewhere in the disorganized mess that is our bedroom at present (our bedroom, also known as home to everything we can’t fit in the house room). Capital sigh.

But that’s today’s resolution: find the damn charger and keep the damn phone charged. Because I know I’m missing fun text messages and I’m definitely missing playing Scrabble. Where are you phone charger??

Oh yes, and the recipe for awesome beet cake:

*3 eggs

*1 1/2 cups sugar

*1/2 cup melted butter

*2 tsp vanilla

*1 1/4 cup flour

*2 tsp baking powder

*1/2 tsp salt

*5 squares of semi-sweet Baker’s chocolate or similar

*2-3 medium beets (golden or red, whatever your preference)

*100 ml cream or whipping cream (glaze)

*rest of box of Baker’s chocolate or similar (glaze)

*2 9 x 1.5 inch cake pans

So butter up your cake pans. Preheat your oven to 350F. Peel and grate the raw beets. Make giant purple-y mess. Ignore giant purple-y mess. Melt the chocolate over low heat on the stove. Beat the hell out of your eggs and sugar with an electric beater until white and fluffy-ish. In seperate bowl, stir together flour, salt, and baking powder. Fold this flour mixture into your sugar eggs along with butter, vanilla, melted chocolate and beets. Pour evenly into two cake pans and pop in oven for around 35-40 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Let cool. Make your glaze by melting glaze ingredients on the stove. Once your cakes are cool, place one cake on plate, top with glaze, add other cake and stick in fridge. Serve with leftover glaze drizzled over top and some whipped cream. NOM NOM NOM.

On the whole, I’d say I’m a pretty patient person. I’d really have to be, given the kind of jobs I’ve had and managed to not get fired from. Only the most patient of individuals could work at a coffee shop that has no menu and frequently runs out of the ingredients to make coffee, or a Thai restaurant that has no one to answer the phone for delivery orders on a Friday night, or a clothing store for pre-teen girls, or a china shop that makes you change your name, or a 50’s diner that only ever has half the menu in the kitchen, or Senior’s Day at a Shopper’s Drug Mart, or 40% off days at The Gap, or any day at Starbucks. Not only have I worked at all of these jobs and more, I’ve managed to not kill a single customer AND get promoted. Amazing. And a sign of infinite patience.

Or so I thought.

Turns out, the thing that pushes me over the edge is not explaining for the billionth time that we don’t have mussels even though they are on the menu, it is not listening to complaints about lattes being 2 degrees warmer than ordered, it is not people trying to return “broken” shampoo, and it is not wrestling with homeless people who are hell bent on stealing the cream from the milk station. Nope, the thing that pushes me over the edge goes by the name of Budsie The Napless Wonder, aka Budsie the Punisher or Budsie the Mother-Hater. How one tiny person can cause me so much frustration is beyond me. And the thing is, it’s not his fault. Of course it’s not his fault. He’s a baby, for crying out loud, and a damn good one at that. He’s just going through a phase where he wants to switch his long nap to the afternoon and this is causing a momentary time of morning grumpies. And I know this. So why do I get so frustrated with him? I have no idea. Maybe it’s lack of sleep, maybe it’s pent up frustration at myself for completely unrelated things, maybe it’s all the frustration from those terrible jobs finally coming home to roost. Who knows. But it’s not fair to the kid so today’s resolution: try to be more patient with Budsie Bumpkin. Because he’s an awesome kid and doesn’t deserve a mother who sighs or sounds sharp when there really is no reason to sigh or sound sharp. Patience, dear Ezmy. Patience.

Update on previous resolutions: The sitting is going well. The crow pose is not.

Last week was marked by a general feeling of awesomeness. I felt awesome every day. I chalked it up to loads of sleep, good food, water and diligent daily yoga. Fair to do so, I think.

I do not know what happened between Saturday and today (aside from Mum’s Day, which rocked), but I woke up this morning feeling incredibly lost and icky. Absolutely no idea why. Everything is fine: the kid is great, A. is great, we’re not starving, roof over the head, etc. etc. But I have no direction, no permanent job, and blah diddy blah blah and while most days this doesn’t bug me to the point of distraction, today it really did.

My original resolution for today was something much more interesting but as I seemed incapable of pulling off interesting, I switched to this resolution: power through. Tempting though it might be, on days when I feel lost I really shouldn’t let myself fall into pits of despair, watching endless bad movies and eating nothing but popcorn and peanut butter sandwiches. Destructive behaviour that gets me nowhere, particularly when there is a kid to look after. So instead of doing that, I powered through – yoga at the usual time, lots of good food and water, routine routine routine. I don’t feel much better tonight but I’d like to think that I’d feel worse if I hadn’t stayed focused. Maybe tomorrow will be better. God I’m inspiring, aren’t I? Yeesh.

This morning I woke up to coffee and a nifty gift bag full of goodies including chocolate, tea, a good book and best of all, ‘Stranger than Fiction’, one of my all time favourite movies. YAYA for mum’s day! I must say, it feels weird to have a day all my own at this time of year. Weird but awesome. :D

In honour of mother’s day, I’m not going to do anything. That’s right. My resolution today: do nothing. By ‘nothing’ of course I mean read Vogue, drink obscene amounts of coffee, eat cake, and in the evening, switch to wine, movie and mac and cheese. Oh and play with the Budsie because playing with the Budsie is a blast. It’s going to be a good day, I can feel it.

Update on previous resolutions: BEET CAKE IS AWESOME. Ohmigod so good. Not dry at all, tasty, chocolate-y awesomeness. Definitely had some for breakfast. Would have some for lunch too if there was any left. Nom. I’ll post the recipe that I used (a combination of Ms VonDoom and OttawaOrganics plus a touch of my own creativity) soon. And when I do, you must make this cake immediately. Beets rock.

Budsie is 11 months old today – madness! In celebration of this momentous occasion, A., Budsie and I are off to other A.’s and rockin’ KM’s house for dinner.

Ok, so maybe we had the dinner plans before I remembered that he was 11 months old.

But still! It’s a big day. And I want to make a cake. The problem is, I rarely make good cakes. I’ve made one, ONE, that I was proud of (chocolate peanut butter awesomeness for the lovely LG). The rest have all been dry as dust and bland. But I really wanted good cake and the chocolate peanut butter awesomeness cake is a) a LOT of work and b) too expensive to make on a regular basis. Hmmm.

While I was considering this dilemma yesterday, I happened across Ms. VonDoom’s post about beet cake. Yummy, I thought. Then about 15 minutes later, the groceries arrived and low and behold, beets! AND a recipe for beet cake (the groceries come with recipes – having groceries delivered continues to rock my socks). I considered this a sign from whoever sends these things. Clearly I was meant to make beet cake.

So that’s today’s resolution: try my hand at a new cake with beets and see if I can better my cake baking resume. Other A. and rockin’ KM are good food sports so if it doesn’t turn out, no matter. But I really hope it does.

(forgive the lateness – I wrote this and the following post and totally forgot to, you know, post them)

When I first started this resolution project, I was writing on our Mac laptop, a computer that I’m sure I’ve mentioned is covered in/filled with K-town war dust. But aside from the dust, it’s pretty clean and I like it. The problem though is that when I use this computer, I’m tempted to write on the couch or in bed and I never really feel like I have a workspace all my own.

Enter our dusty old desktop. It had been sitting in our kitchen all by it’s lonesome ever since we moved in. I hadn’t been using it because while on bedrest, the kitchen was like another country that I only visited for snacks. It might as well have been 3 billion miles away from the couch, that’s how often I was able to go in there. Later, the kitchen was my escape from the kid but still not the place I wanted to work in. But lately, work has picked up and the need for an office space that is seperate from the toy cupboard and madness has increased considerably. So here I sit, at the desktop that saw such glorious creations as That Horrid Paper for Vicker’s Class and The Master’s Thesis That Never Seemed To End. Ah memories.

Anyway so yesterday, Budsie managed to throw a cup of formula/milk all over the kitchen and some of it landed on the keyboard for the desktop. Not a big deal, but as I went to clean it I noticed something about this keyboard: it’s disgusting. Formula, coffee, bits of sandwich and god knows what else is stuck on the keys. A ridiculous amount of cat hair resides between the keys, so much so that you’d think Zoe was typing at night. And the frightening thing is that I don’t actually think I’ve ever cleaned the desktop keyboard. Or if I have, it was so long ago that I can’t remember. Either way, ewww.

So today’s resolution: clean the desktop keyboard and try to remember to do this more in future. Icky ick ick.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had back problems. I am built quite oddly you see – in the 5’7 frame of Ezmy, 5’3 of me is body (ok, slight exaggeration but you get the picture). I have no legs and a stupid long skinny back that couldn’t support rice cakes let alone an actual human body. The problems are nothing crazy serious mind you, just a lot of pinched nerves and there’s a disc issue in the middle somewhere that was diagnosed when I was in my early twenties and both my legs went numb. Frightening, but apparently not frightening enough to stop wearing five inch heels to work. The ability to tune out important information concerning one’s health when one is in their early twenties never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, daily yoga practice helps immensely. It stretches and strengthens my back muscles and generally aligns me. However, immediately following yoga, I sit here in front of the computer, slouch over the keyboard and cross my legs in that lady-like, gonna get you vericous veins kind of way, thereby ruining any sense of alignment I felt before. Oddly, I never used to sit this way. When I was in school, I usually wrote papers and marked in lotus pose, a position I used to find most comforting. So today’s resolution: sit properly, with shoulders down and back straight but relaxed.

*swtiches position*

Ugh. Have you ever noticed how if you haven’t sat properly for ages, it’s actually harder to do? Slouching is ever so much easier…this is going to take some getting used to.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that freelance writing pays in buttons. A. and I do ok thanks in 99.99% part to A.’s job, but we do need to be frugal, a skill I mastered during my Toronto years. Although when I say “mastered” what I really mean is “would buy Vogue and cigarettes over food.” Still, I am one of the only people I know who can make a tin of black beans, half a bag of rice and an apple last for three meals. It’s not pretty, but it can be done.

So today, when I noticed that our little change dish was overflowing, I thought I’d count it to see how much was there. $4.56! Wowza, that’s 2/3 of a sheet of bus tickets. Then I remembered an old cottage cheese container that we used to store change in – more money! And behind that? A cheesy purse with more change! Well then. In the spirit of scrimping and saving, today’s resolution: roll change to bring to the bank. Who knows, there could be a whole grocery bill payment in there! Most exciting.

In other news, I checked out a daycare for Budsie today. Let me first say that I’ve been on the waitlist for daycare since Budsie was an 8 week old fetus and only two weeks ago did I get the call that a space might be available. Sigh. So I went to look at the joint and well, it was ok. But does everything have to smell so….sterile? What kind of cleaning products are these places using? I want my kid to get germs damn it. And to not be resistant to antibiotics when he’s 10. Yeesh. The next big problem – we really can’t afford this place. I mean, of course we can’t if I don’t go find a full-time job but even if I did, $17,900/ year is a tough pill to swallow. And clearly Stephen Harper’s $100/month isn’t really going to cut it (asshat). Back on the waitlist we go…