>Still very very sick. Throwing up is second nature now. Feel like crap. Baby is thisclose to being named Percibel or Norman or Archie or Hyacinthe.

Ugh.

>Today is a big day. Instead of getting up, brushing my teeth, eating a box of soda crackers and an apple and going back to bed, I woke up feeling…refreshed? Well, close to. Enough that I was able to leave the house and haul my cookies to Starbucks for the first time in two weeks. Part of this new found energy is because of the new bed that Andrew got us. See, Andrew and I have spent our entire relationship sleeping on a skinny futon mattress on the floor. Which actually hasn’t been so bad – I can sleep pretty much anywhere. But as soon as I got pregnant, the mattress became more and more uncomfortable. Then it occurred to me that I wasn’t going to be able to get in and out of bed soon….a problem. Particularly since I now get up at least once a night to use the loo and waking up Andrew to help me doesn’t sound appealing (he’s a great guy but DO NOT wake him up). So we went to Ikea on the weekend and bought a mattress AND funky frame. Pleasant sleep times ensued. But the mattress can’t be the only cause of my new found refreshed feeling. I’m hoping that the baby is starting to cut me some slack as I head into the final few weeks of my first trimester. Fingers crossed.

Anyways, so yes, I left the house. I went to Starbucks (a five second walk from our place), got a cup of tea and checked my email (our internet is down). THEN I went to the school to take out a couple of library books and pay the mad amount of library fees I had collected from when I went to Scotland and forgot to bring my books back first. THEN I made lunch (read: heated up leftovers). THEN I came back to Starbucks for a second cuppa. A very very busy day for me. PLUS I plan to go home after this and make a real dinner (this plan might fall through if the smell of cooking food gets me down…I cannot STAND the smell of cooking vegetables these days). Andrew is going to be in shock when he comes home. I think he’s grown accustomed to finding me curled up in bed watching a bad movie and nibbling crackers. Well no more! At least, not today!!

Maybe now more interesting things will happen that I can post about. Here’s hoping.

>Right, so I had to delete the previous post because every time I saw it, it made me queasy. Madness, eh? Only a few days ago I could eat almost anything. Now, it’s soda crackers, cereal and apples. Ah well. I’ll be back to post for real soon but I must wait until a) I don’t want to hurl all day and b) I can think of something other than my sicky self to talk about.

This could take a bit…

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So I’m in the middle of week six. Which means nothing, really. The kidlet is about a 1/4 of an inch, which is kind of nifty. I’m not throwing up yet which is extra nifty. I am so tired I could sleep all day but I’m still getting exercise and good food in, so this is not a big deal. So all is well on the immediate front.

The idea of the kidlet itself, however, scares the living crap out of me. In talking about having kids with Andrew, I don’t think I ever once thought about, you know, raising them. It suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t having a baby; I was having a toddler/preteen/teen/grown-up real person. Eeep! This horrid thought came about while I was walking by an elementary school of screaming rotten children. I have since decided to push it aside and focus on other things. Like anything else.

In other news, I need a job. Not simply to get my mind off of thoughts like the one above, but also because from what I understand, kids cost some money. They can’t fend for themselves, see. Useless beings. So I need money for food, clothes, cloth diapers, etc. Thankfully, what little money I do have left I can’t spend because all the things worth buying right now (read: boots and jeans) are useless to a woman who doesn’t know what her size and comfort level is going to be like on any given day. Frustrating, but good really since I shouldn’t be buying silly things like that anyways (*sniffles over loss of boots that she never really had but dreamed of*).

Oh yes, and I tried a new chili recipe the other night. Delish! I’ll post it this evening when I can take some good pictures. Tonight it will be paired with spinach and possibly acorn squash although the squash looks questionable. And ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ tells me to avoid questionable foods (although I think they were referring to meat and poultry not acorn squash but whatever).

>
So I’m not training for the marathon anymore. Because from what I understand, this is inadvisable when one is pregnant.

That’s right – pregnant. With a baby. Due in early June. Exciting, no?

Reader: “But aren’t you getting married next August?”

ezmy: “Yes.”

Reader: “And didn’t you already buy your dress?”

ezmy: “Yes.”

Reader: “Ummm…”

Alright, alright. So the dress is a problem. But not really. Sure it’s super form fitting right now and sure it’s made of the most unforgiving duchess silk ever. And sure it’s hard (read: impossible) to find strapless nursing bras. But I mean, what’s the worse that can happen? It doesn’t fit. So I adjust it. Or add a decorative sash. Or whatever. Yet everyone I tell about the pregnancy reacts the same way: “Congratulations! Wow, will you be able to fit your dress?”. Like this is the big question to ask. Not “How will you afford this?” or “Are you sure you’re fit to have children?” or “How do you feel about all this?”. Nope. Whether or not I fit my dress is the number one problem I’m going to face in the next year. Ha.

So far, things are good. But it’s early. I feel slightly sicky sometimes but nothing a little food or tea can’t fix. I’m eating air pop popcorn like it’s going out of style. The hardest thing has been giving up coffee, which thankfully I can add back in around the second trimester. That would be November 30 and I’m not going to lie, I’ve got the date circled on my calendar. The second hardest thing: Guinness. My god, but do I miss my beer. I had my first virgin pina colada the other day, which was tasty but…not Guinness. I welcome any virgin cocktail ideas.

So there you go. A wedding and a baby and a change of careers all in the next year….this should be interesting.

>
Last Friday, I hoped on the Greyhound and went to Montreal to a) visit sexy AB and b) write a stupid standardized test. The test details are boring (except for the part where I walk all the way to the testing site only to realize I’ve forgotten the all important piece of paper that lets me write the damn test prompting me to curse loudly and run back to my hotel…fack fack fack). But the trip was a damn good time. Friday night, AB and I had some delish mussels (vegan what?) with knocchi at a nice little restaurant on St. Laurent. (I effing love Montreal. No matter where you go, the food is always good. Case in point: after the test, I stopped in at a hole in the wall coffee stand and had the most delightful bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon (vegan salmon?)). Then we hopped over to a lounge of some sort with the biggest pink doors I’ve ever seen and had some tasty wino. Lots of catching up, lots of bitching about the unrealistic expectations of society for people our age (why on Earth can’t I still be figuring my shit out anyways?) and so on. I couldn’t go all out because, well, I had that pesky test. But a good night nonetheless.

Saturday and Sunday post-test were much more fun in that I was much more relaxed. Saturday I had the most orgasmic sushi roll ever. Seriously, no other sushi on the planet compares to this roll. It was one of those things where after one bite, I needed a moment to comprehend the taste sensation in my mouth. Madness. Add to this the fact that AB and I both found kickass cheap boots before dinner and that after dinner I discovered a delightful little 8.5% microbrew beer that could lift a house and well, that’s a rockin’ Saturday night. And then on Sunday I poked around Montreal with AB and her man and found a fantastic jacket by Schwiing (see logo above). Love – this – jacket. A. does not. Well, that’s not entirely fair. He likes the look of the jacket but he hates how long it takes me to put on. It has an interesting and random combination of snaps and buttons which, when done up, look spectacular but which also require some serious concentration. Ah well, it’s still perfect.

In the end, I was sad to leave Montreal, with its fantastic food, stellar shopping districts, and my sexy AB. Sure A., Zoe, and my favourite apartment were waiting for me on the other end, but Ottawa is still a boring ol’ government town, a fact made more noticeable after a weekend away in one of Canada’s best cities. Boo. I see plenty of visits in my future.

After Montreal, I was supposed to be cracking down this week, finding a job and finishing details on my MA thesis (which haunts me to this day). This proved exceptionally difficult for reasons I won’t get into at present. I did, however, get all of my errands done which is an accomplishment in itself, I think. And I did try to find work, although there isn’t much work to be found. Effing recession is still hurting employment opportunities for non-francais speaking individuals in Ottawa. Ah well. Today and this weekend will hopefully be more productive. I’m in Kingston until Monday and Kingston has plenty of jazzy coffee shops in which to work. Today’s shop: a predictable Sbux. But tomorrow I’m going to check out a hippy-looking spot that boasts free wifi and tasty sandwiches. Woot!

>
Ok so I’ve been looking for grey nail polish for weeks now. Cannot find it ANYWHERE! Always silver and if I wanted to look like a hipster 80s throwback, I could I suppose. But I do not want to. I want solid medium grey. I wear black nail polish, generally speaking, but it’s time to loosen up. I think grey is the next step.

The thing about nail polish is, I feel terrible every single time I buy it (which might explain in part why I stick with one colour that I don’t have to buy too often). It’s full of chemicals, the remover that goes with it is terrible as well, oh the animals, oh the environment ahhhh. It’s a stupid vice. And I’m phasing it out slowly. But not before I get my hands on some grey….

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The popcorn machine has been a complete success. I don’t know how I lived without this thing before. Easy to assemble (place cover on machine and plug in) and I don’t burn myself with hot oil like I did with the stove top method. Bliss.

I am, however, still using stove top method for my espresso. Which is causing me some problems. I got the above pictured stove top espresso machine for my birthday about a month ago and I’ve used it quite a few times and still, STILL, I am not making espresso. I am making strong coffee. And don’t get me wrong – strong coffee is awesome. But I want espresso. With the caramelly stuff on top. I haven’t got the water:espresso ratio down yet either. Boo. What I really would like (hello wedding registry!) is an actual espresso machine. With a metal foamer and everything. But that will take time so for now, does anyone out there know how the hell to make espresso in my espresso maker?

In other news, I made a vegetable pie last night that had a lot of promise to start but turned out only so so. Here is a list of possible reasons why this decline in tastiness happened:

1) I used white wine instead of vegetable stock (win) but forgot to supplement the wine with a little bay leaf and other such vegetable stock spices.
2) I effed up the pastry, forgetting that I needed double the chickpeas for this one, and so the top was too small for the pie.
3) I accidentally added vanilla almond milk to the vegetable mixture.

I’m thinking 1 and 3 had the most impact. Sigh. It wasn’t terrible in the end, but it wasn’t great either. Thank goodness for the side of beets and turnip with marjoram. New recipe tonight I think…I’m thinking stir fry.

Update: just took a sip from my recently brewed pot…Yowza but that’s strong coffee. Not espresso. My pumpkin mug is disappointed.

>
Because I’ve been so sicky lately, I haven’t had time to do regular people things. Like get groceries, for example. A., being the darling he is, brought me Campbell’s soup, something I never eat (holy sodium overload batman) but always crave when I’m sick. However, I was particularly lazy this cold so I didn’t even make the soup and then before I knew it, it was Saturday night and we had no food for dinner. Except this Campbell’s soup. Cream of “wild” mushroom, which I realize is not vegan but I care not when I’m sicky. Anyway, the only other things we had in the house were weary looking collard greens, rice, onion, garlic, and chickpeas. Now what I should have done was make something with those ingredients and forget the soup. But did I do that? No. Because I thought I could pull off some casserole thing that I remembered some parent of a friend of mine making as a child (I get strange notions whilst cooking). This parent used to put Campbell’s mushroom soup with pasta (for me rice) and chicken (for me chickpeas…totally the same, right? …) and albeit limited veg, pop it in the oven et voila! Yummy mushroom casserole. I was really in the mood for comfort food cooking so I thought, yeah I can totally do this.

Either I didn’t pay attention as a child (totally possible) or I over-estimated the timelessness of such a recipe (most likely), but either way this recipe sucked. Big time. First, I ended up using a trillion (read three) pots. I’m a one pot meal kind of gal so this irritated me. I do not like extra dishes. Second, I overcooked the rice. I realize this is not the recipe’s fault but I’m going to blame the recipe anyways because I needed to be doing too many things at once. Finally, Campbell’s cream of mushroom is disgusting. It really is. Stodgy, salty but otherwise flavourless ickiness. The “casserole” came out as a giant blobby mess. I ruined a perfectly good tin of chickpeas. Most irritating.

The moral of the story? Do not trust the instincts you had as a child when it comes to food. And avoid over-processed foods masquerading as tasty meal time treats. And if you are lactose intolerant and haven’t eaten dairy in ages, do not open with Campbell’s cream of “wild” mushroom. Ugh.

>
So I haven’t posted for a few days because I’ve been sick. The kind of sick where you just want to lie around all day and watch bad tv. The kind of sick where you don’t sleep at all but always want to. Ugh. Sore throat, nausea, ugh. And with this whole swine flu thing, I really couldn’t go anywhere. People are really uppity about it and I can’t blame them I suppose. So house arrest it was. A. kept me well supplied with soup, pumpkin spice soy lattes, mags and flowers and I developed a random fondness for Stephen and Chris. And an unsurprising hatred for “Heartland” (worst. show. ever).

I never really mind being sick, probably because I’m one of those people who refuses to work through it. When I feel sick, I stop everything, put on A.’s clothes, set myself up in front of tellie with tea, and wait for it to pass. Ignoring the illness isn’t going to make it go away and will likely make it worse. The problem, of course, is that when I’m better I’m waaaaay behind on whatever I’ve been working on. In this case prepping for the LSATs, training, and finishing some MA stuff off. Blerg.

Off to work now. More interesting posts later.