>1. My full name is Angela Caroline Livingstone.
2. My nickname in highschool was ‘goat’
3. I hated my nickname in highschool almost as much as I hated highschool.
4. But not as much as I hated middle school.
5. I grew up in Qualicum Beach, British Columbia.
6. I initiated my first kiss because my boyfriend took too long.
7. I was nine.
8. I had five boyfriends in grade seven and didn’t like any of them except the last one.
9. I broke up with him after I got a bad haircut so that he wouldn’t do it first.
10. I left the break up message on his parents answering machine.
11. We dated again in highschool for three years.
12. I had a crush on Kate Moss in highschool.
13. I won second place in the Solo Vocal competition at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in Moscow, Idaho.
14. I was an honours student but told people that I failed stuff so they wouldn’t bother me.
15. I smoked a pack a day in highschool.
16. I don’t know how I was able to afford that.
17. I hated gym with the passion of a thousand burning suns.
18. I was ready for university at 15.
19. But the urge left me at 17.
20. I went to the University of Victoria for two years.
21. I can count the number of times I went to class in that time on two hands.
22. I got drunk for the first time when I was 14 but it was an accident.
23. I didn’t drink again until I was 19.
24. I have never tried: ecstasy, heroin, lsd, or mushrooms.
25. I moved to Toronto when I was 19.
26. I had 1000$ in my pocket and nothing else.
27. I often had to ‘jump’ the GO Train to get to work.
28. I spent one night stranded on the streets of Toronto because I missed my train and couldn’t afford a cab home to Port Credit.
29. I worked for William Ashley China Company and they made me change my name to ‘Sharon’ because they already had an Angela working there.
30. I quit after a week.
31. I dated a 40yr old bartender briefly when I was 20.
32. I love Guiness.
33. I worked for the Gap on Queen.
34. I only did it for the discount.
35. I applied for a job at Lettieri Café because I had a crush on the owner.
36. I got the job but the owner turned out to be a sexist jerk.
37. I didn’t know myself in Toronto.
38. I worked at a goth bar called Zen Lounge.
39. My boss bought me a vibrator for xmas.
40. I lived with two strippers and a fabulous lady named Ayns.
41. I went to hairschool.
42. I hated hairschool so much that the thought of it still makes me cry.
43. I really wanted to teach yoga.
44. But I didn’t think I’d be good at it.
45. I didn’t think I was smart enough for university.
46. I applied to Acadia because it was far away from Toronto.
47. I almost didn’t go because I was offered an assistant manager position at Starbucks.
48. I’m glad I came to Acadia.
49. My GPA was 1.8 when I got to Acadia. I had a 3.85 my last semester here.
50. I majored in political science at Acadia because a customer at the hair school thought I would be good at it.
51. In my time at Acadia, I have had a crush on four professors: Dr. Duke, Dr. Dennis, and both Dr. Franceschets.
52. I love spicy food.
53. I met my first live-in boyfriend in residence at Acadia.
54. Our first date was at DQ.
55. We moved in together in May 2004.
56. He moved out in April 2006.
57. I can’t listen to Coldplay because of the memories that make me sad.
58. I learned the most about life and myself from my last relationship but some of that has hurt my new one.
59. I have a ridiculous fear of earwigs.
60. I don’t mind spiders.
61. I don’t have many close female friends but the ones I have are amazing.
62. I hate when people don’t understand line-ups.
63. Some people are confused about my sexuality.
64. I don’t blame them.
65. I’ve made a lot of mistakes but they’ve been good for me long term.
66. I used to think I needed to have kids to justify my existence.
67. I used to think I could never get married because I thought I would feel like somebody else owned me.
68. I’ve never wanted to change my last name. I never will.
69. I have a pet cat.
70. Her name is Zoe.
71. I also have a shiny new boyfriend.
72. His name is A..
73. I worry that he’s eventually going to realize that he’s made a terrible mistake.
74. I love when he makes me mixed cds.
75. And the fact that he understands my coffee addiction.
76. I haven’t had a panic attack in months.
77. I love red wine but have developed a taste for white.
78. I would eat red curry every day if I could.
79. I’m lactose intolerant.
80. I didn’t figure that out until a year ago.
81. I was in a lot of pain for a long time.
82. I still eat cheese and chocolate because I just don’t care.
83. I have to wear ankle socks otherwise my circulation gets cut off and my ankles get huge.
84. I used to act and I really liked it.
85. I have dodged a couple of bullets.
86. I like walking alone.
87. I tried being vegan but I missed seafood.
88. I drink three cups of coffee per day.
89. I love soy milk before bed.
90. I hate going to bed in an unmade bed.
91. I miss my short hair.
92. I miss my piercings.
93. I hate my thesis.
94. But I still want people to read it.
95. I’m moving to Ottawa in 5 days.
96. I think this is the best decision I’ve made in years.
97. I’m going to miss Wolfville.
98. I sometimes wish I could do this year over because I know I could have done it better.
99. But then I might not have met A..
100. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

>
In preparation for the big move, I am going through my possessions, trying to figure out what is crap but worth keeping and what is truly crap. It has come to my attention that I am a terrible deal in this little move-in relationship thing. How so? Well let’s see….

Here’s what I bring to my relationship:
-a great cat
-my smiling self
-1 billion dollars in debt
-1 spiffy coffee mug with a shoe on it
-various clothes and shoes
-two rubbermaid containers full of yearbooks, photos, artwork and books.
-a bitter, jaded, evil twin who is prone to fits of rage and extensive political rants.

Here’s what A. brings to our relationship:
-a great cat
-his smarmy self
-less than a billion dollars in debt.
-a TV
-a Playstation
-better books including the Harry Potters I haven’t read yet
-a toaster
-a microwave
-a futon
-fabulous cooking skills

You see? I’m useless and debt-ridden. So sexy. I could say that there is probably something wrong with A. for wanting to move in with me, but I think it’s more that I’ve managed to fool him into thinking that I’m a well-balanced individual. Or some such thing. Poor A..

>
So I’m excited. Why you ask? Because I’m running away. Running away to Ottawa. With a boy. A. in fact.

“But ezmy, you’ve only known A. for a minute!” Yes.
“And you haven’t been to Ottawa since you were 16!” This is true.
“And you can’t speak French!” No, I can’t.
“And you have no job and no money!” I’m aware.
“But…but…um” Yes?

Well, I didn’t say it was my most well-researched plan. But I’m excited. Good gut feeling about this one. Don’t laugh at me. Ten more days and I’ll be posting from my spiffy new apartment in Ottawa, my apartment with roommates: A., doodlebanger, and z-bone. Stay tuned.

I will say this though. I’m going to miss Wolfville. I’ll miss the crazy old bad-santa-looking man who wonders the streets of Wolfville mumbling to himself, the crowd of hooligans in front of the 24 hour Tims which is convienently located across the street from the police station, the “Valley Stove & Cycle” store (seriously, the store sells bikes and stoves), the independent video store which insists on sticking with VHS and has all of the best BBC specials, and the fact that this small town actually has a “Billy-Bobs Pizza” place. I’ll miss the friendly Just Us coffee staff who always remember that I’m a large medium. I’ll miss the soup at the Ivy Deck, the breakfast sausages at Paddy’s, the burger and pita fingers at Library Pub, the lobster mash at the Tempest, and the BLT at Joes. I’ll miss being able to walk across town in 10 minutes, and knowing that in that walk I’m guaranteed to meet someone I know. I’ll miss the fall. I’ll miss the fact that on any given sunny day, half the store owners are outside talking to each other. I’ll miss my pokey little apartment with its comforting leaky faucets, cozy cinderblock walls, and teeny weeny kitchen. I’ll miss the laundromat television. I’ll miss CJs cab company, who alway remember that I’m the girl with the cat and the apple on my door. I’ll miss Nellie, the woman who lived to be 108 and whose gravestone I walk by almost everyday. I’ll miss the spooge tree, which has become distinctly un-spoogy as of late. I’ll miss walking by the elementary school on my way to class. I’ll miss David, Rivers, Leah, Jenn, Ross, Kit, Dia, Colin, Danielle and anyone else I forgot here who will kill me later. I’ll miss the familiar smell of the BAC and most of all the bunker. I’ll miss the Political Science Department. Man will I miss the Political Science Department.

That’s what I’ll miss.

And what have I learned from my little Nova Scotian experience? Heaps.

What I have learned while living alone:
1) That leaving a spider under a glass for two days may not kill it.
2) That baking soda is a miracle worker.
3) That cat people are NOT crazy they are just misunderstood.
4) That if you dump a container of chili peppers on the counter, and they move, don’t eat them.
5) That I can fall asleep without “When Harry met Sally” on as background noise.
6) That it is possible to melt a pan to a stove.
7) That I enjoy doing the dishes and I love baking, but I hate taking the garbage out.
8) That salsa has a shelf life. So does wine.
9) That I’m strong enough to open my own peanut butter jars.
10) That I am not ready for small children.

What I have learned while writing my thesis in the bunker:
1) That Leah is definitely getting scurvy and may or may not want to biff her computer.
2) That Rivers is a multi-tasking prostitute with a brothel and a dead woman in his basement.
3) That purses mean sex.
4) That Ezmy’s desk was the best for checking out the Franceschets.
5) That Rivers is made out of sunshine and roses and all that is pure.
6) That Rivers is scared to death of the stapler (but does a fabulous impression of one).
7) That Rivers is a political whore.
8) That Leah will pass on the homebirth idea.
9) That Ezmy could be a virgin. You don’t know.
10) That no matter how hard they try, Leah, Ezmy and Rivers will a) always fight and b) never write.

What I have learned about myself, life, and love:
1) That I am a school nerd.
2) That DM taught me some of the best lessons I’ll ever learn.
3) That it is possible to love someone more than anything but that they might not be right for you or you for them.
4) That stress is the fastest way to kill weight and a relationship.
5) That I really, truly do love dancing for dancing and not just for the pick up factor.
6) That religion and spirituality are different.
7) That I am more bitter and jaded than I originally thought.
8) That when something crazy seizes me, I should always go with it.
9) That I can enjoy being alone, but ignoring the world will not make it go away.
10) That I’m going to be fine.

>
I did not disappear…I am merely in the final stages of thesis-ing (again). I shall rise from the depths tomorrow afternoon in time for Colin-day celebrations and birthday celebrations (mine, Saturday, have you purchased YOUR gift yet?).

tata for now

>
Today has been one of those random days where I feel all…off.

It all started at 3am with a massive clap of thunder which jolted me out of bed, scaring the living daylights out of me. I’m generally a fan of thunder but not when it feels like it’s actually in my house and not when I’m in the middle of a nightmare in which I’m fighting some guy off of me with arms that feel like jello (think Harry Potter no-bones). It took me an hour, and a bit of ‘When Harry met Sally’, to fall back asleep.

Around 7am, an obviously crazy person ripped my alarm clock out of the wall and threw it at the laundry basket. I say obviously crazy because she managed to break the face off of said clock.

Around 10am, the phone woke me up and instead of just letting it ring, I leapt out of bed and fell flat on my face. I managed to get to the phone and I remember hearing a sexy voice on the other end but that is all. I then crawled back to the bedroom in significant pain.

From that point on I was awake but the day was all thrown off. Random people messaged me with random-type messages right off and I didn’t get coffee in my system within the first thirty minutes of waking so my head started pounding in typical drug addict fashion. Then I couldn’t think of anything funny slash intelligent to say to the second dose of sexy voice and ended up coming across as a bit ridiculous and a lot lame. Further, my entire house seems to be infested with tiny white spiders which is good because I was just starting to get used to the fact that nothing was wrong with my apartment. Sigh.

I’m thinking though, that it’s only 2pm. So perhaps things will get better.