>ezmy is running away. Here’s what she’s going to miss and what she has learned

So I’m excited. Why you ask? Because I’m running away. Running away to Ottawa. With a boy. A. in fact.

“But ezmy, you’ve only known A. for a minute!” Yes.
“And you haven’t been to Ottawa since you were 16!” This is true.
“And you can’t speak French!” No, I can’t.
“And you have no job and no money!” I’m aware.
“But…but…um” Yes?

Well, I didn’t say it was my most well-researched plan. But I’m excited. Good gut feeling about this one. Don’t laugh at me. Ten more days and I’ll be posting from my spiffy new apartment in Ottawa, my apartment with roommates: A., doodlebanger, and z-bone. Stay tuned.

I will say this though. I’m going to miss Wolfville. I’ll miss the crazy old bad-santa-looking man who wonders the streets of Wolfville mumbling to himself, the crowd of hooligans in front of the 24 hour Tims which is convienently located across the street from the police station, the “Valley Stove & Cycle” store (seriously, the store sells bikes and stoves), the independent video store which insists on sticking with VHS and has all of the best BBC specials, and the fact that this small town actually has a “Billy-Bobs Pizza” place. I’ll miss the friendly Just Us coffee staff who always remember that I’m a large medium. I’ll miss the soup at the Ivy Deck, the breakfast sausages at Paddy’s, the burger and pita fingers at Library Pub, the lobster mash at the Tempest, and the BLT at Joes. I’ll miss being able to walk across town in 10 minutes, and knowing that in that walk I’m guaranteed to meet someone I know. I’ll miss the fall. I’ll miss the fact that on any given sunny day, half the store owners are outside talking to each other. I’ll miss my pokey little apartment with its comforting leaky faucets, cozy cinderblock walls, and teeny weeny kitchen. I’ll miss the laundromat television. I’ll miss CJs cab company, who alway remember that I’m the girl with the cat and the apple on my door. I’ll miss Nellie, the woman who lived to be 108 and whose gravestone I walk by almost everyday. I’ll miss the spooge tree, which has become distinctly un-spoogy as of late. I’ll miss walking by the elementary school on my way to class. I’ll miss David, Rivers, Leah, Jenn, Ross, Kit, Dia, Colin, Danielle and anyone else I forgot here who will kill me later. I’ll miss the familiar smell of the BAC and most of all the bunker. I’ll miss the Political Science Department. Man will I miss the Political Science Department.

That’s what I’ll miss.

And what have I learned from my little Nova Scotian experience? Heaps.

What I have learned while living alone:
1) That leaving a spider under a glass for two days may not kill it.
2) That baking soda is a miracle worker.
3) That cat people are NOT crazy they are just misunderstood.
4) That if you dump a container of chili peppers on the counter, and they move, don’t eat them.
5) That I can fall asleep without “When Harry met Sally” on as background noise.
6) That it is possible to melt a pan to a stove.
7) That I enjoy doing the dishes and I love baking, but I hate taking the garbage out.
8) That salsa has a shelf life. So does wine.
9) That I’m strong enough to open my own peanut butter jars.
10) That I am not ready for small children.

What I have learned while writing my thesis in the bunker:
1) That Leah is definitely getting scurvy and may or may not want to biff her computer.
2) That Rivers is a multi-tasking prostitute with a brothel and a dead woman in his basement.
3) That purses mean sex.
4) That Ezmy’s desk was the best for checking out the Franceschets.
5) That Rivers is made out of sunshine and roses and all that is pure.
6) That Rivers is scared to death of the stapler (but does a fabulous impression of one).
7) That Rivers is a political whore.
8) That Leah will pass on the homebirth idea.
9) That Ezmy could be a virgin. You don’t know.
10) That no matter how hard they try, Leah, Ezmy and Rivers will a) always fight and b) never write.

What I have learned about myself, life, and love:
1) That I am a school nerd.
2) That DM taught me some of the best lessons I’ll ever learn.
3) That it is possible to love someone more than anything but that they might not be right for you or you for them.
4) That stress is the fastest way to kill weight and a relationship.
5) That I really, truly do love dancing for dancing and not just for the pick up factor.
6) That religion and spirituality are different.
7) That I am more bitter and jaded than I originally thought.
8) That when something crazy seizes me, I should always go with it.
9) That I can enjoy being alone, but ignoring the world will not make it go away.
10) That I’m going to be fine.


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