conversations before parks and rec part 1

Scene: A. is looking at the ‘Tie Bar’. It’s a website…for ties. He’s been looking at it for awhile…

E: “When you’re done oogling ties, let’s watch some parks and rec.”

A: *apparently ignoring E.* “I’m going to get a couple of these ties, eh? They’re only 15 dollars!”

E: “Yeah, that’s pretty cheap.”

A: “So I went on the message board.”

E: “…”

A: “It was mostly tie-centric.”

E: “…”

A: “I didn’t post anything.”

E: “…”

A: “But apparently *snicker, snicker* they’re really good quality *snicker, snicker* for such a cheap price.”

E: “…”

A: “SHUT UP!”

E: “Ok, we aren’t watching parks and rec now. Imma need a minute. To, uh, write something unrelated to this tie business.”

(E. begins writing this post. A. discovers a new feature on the Tie website…)

A: “You can search by ‘orange’. Like, for just orange ties. Is that really necessary? ‘Oh I haven’t got a ton of time for tie shopping, but I really want to look like a pumpkin, so here we go.’ I mean, is it necessary to be colour specific?”

E: “….”

(a few minutes passes)

A: “Ok, no, yeah I can see how this feature is handy.”

E: *barely containing laughter*

A: “And Bison plaid? What the fuck is ‘bison plaid’? “Oh that’s so bison.” Seriously? Is there another meaning for ‘bison’ of which I was not aware? And why does ‘Hunter Green’ need to be part of someone’s wardrobe? Huh, actually it does look kind of good with brown, hmmm. They have an enormous blue section. Unsurprising, I guess….”

E: *laughing so hard with tears in eyes*

(a few minutes passes)

A: “I’m not yet the kind of person who clicks on the tie of the month club.”

E: *dying*

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