budsie blows a gasket and lord of the rings conversation #1

Happy Valentine’s Day! Faithful followers know that I always enjoy this day, in spite of the commercial broohaha. It’s nice to have a day that reminds us to say ‘I love you!’ We’re celebrating tonight with wine and dinner at home, which is essentially what we do every night but whatever. I think we might go crazy and wait to eat until after Budsie is in bed, thus allowing us to actually have a conversation, instead of forcing food down at breakneck speed.

As part of today’s festivities, I was forced to go out to the grocer’s and the liquor store. The grocery store trip was fine – Budsie made friends in the produce section and at the checkout counter, while I smiled at the 25 men surrounding a stack of withering rose bouquets (there was one kid there who was about 14…I hope she knows how lucky she is!).

But the liquor store…oh the liquor store. Budsie went in already pissed because I wouldn’t let him walk from the grocery store to the liquor store (I am, after all, a terrible mother for not allowing my child to walk for what would be 30 minutes in the freezing cold along a busy highway). I was hoping to do a quick in and out thing, but of course they had run out of the wine I needed for work, so I was forced to choose another. Decision-making = waiting = angry, angry toddler. After 5 minutes of listening to “A walk! A walk! A walk!” (I walk!) I gave in, took him out of the stroller and started to put his little knapsack leash on (a necessity in a liquor store with bottles at toddler grabbing level).

Oh but he wasn’t having any of that.

The screaming could be heard in Australia, I tell you (ok, maybe just the Australian wine section but whatever). He collapsed. He rolled around, banging fists on the floor. He went purple in the face. He yelled all sorts of what I take to be toddler swear words at me: “YAYAYA grrrrrrGRRARARARARA! NONONONONONONO! ggggggGGGAAAAAAH!!”

Fantastic stuff, really. So I did what any sensible person would do under the circumstances: I chuckled. ‘Cause it’s funny! And just a little tragic. Poor sod can’t communicate the way he would like to, can’t understand why I won’t let him walk alone when he knows that I know he’s able to, and frankly, would rather be at home with some Cheerios and Sesame Street. I get it.

But the liquor store people did not. One stock fellow frowned at me (clearly doesn’t have kids), a more than a few patrons glared. Pfft to them I say. I realize we’ve interrupted your 10am booze purchase, but it’s not my problem if you came in here with a headache. A friendlier stock person asked if I needed anything (might have kids), and a third laughed along with me as I was leaving (definitely has kids).

Five seconds after we left, Budsie saw a dog and all was forgotten. Ah toddlers.

Now where was I…oh right, the Lord of the Rings conversation!

(Scene: A. and Ezmy have recently acquired all three LOTRs movies on blu-ray. Woot! They are on the second half of ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’, when the fellowship is walking along the snowy awful cliffs of whatever. Saruman is trying to bury them in an avalanche…)

Ezmy: “I’m not sure if burying Frodo in a pile of snow on the side of a mountain is really the best idea if you’re trying to get the ring back.”

A.: “I know. And if you have that kind of specific location, I mean if you know he’s RIGHT THERE on the side of that particular mountain, can’t you just send somebody to take them?”

Ezmy: “Right, doesn’t he have minions for that type of thing?”

A.: “I mean, he’s making orcs in the ground. Surely a few of these guys could be made to go handle a mountain. Maybe one with wings or something. Geez.”

Ezmy: “I know! He’s playing around with orc genetics down there anyway.”

A.: (takes on voice of Saruman) “Make a winged orc? That would be an abomination!  Are you crazy?”

Ezmy: “hehe”

(Ok, admittedly, this back and forth is probably only funny to me and A. Too bad for you!)


2 thoughts on “budsie blows a gasket and lord of the rings conversation #1

  1. That conversation makes complete sense – mind you, I am someone who recently signed a note with “look for me on the morning of the third day,” and who can quote Golum’s entire soliloquy by heart. Go nerds!

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