When Budsie was about 6 months old, people started asking me if we were going to have a second baby. Two kinds of people tend to ask this question at the 6 month mark: crazy people and people without children. My response to these individuals was to direct their attention to my bloodshot eyes, my worn out and literally broken body, the fact that I hadn’t showered since g*d knows when, and the fact that I hadn’t been alone with my husband for 6 months thus making the production of a second baby impossible. Even the crazies let me be.
Budsie is 19 months old now though and he’s doing fantastically well. He sleeps well, he eats well and he seems happy all the time. “Job well done”, say perfectly reasonable folk, “so how about that second?”
Huh. How ABOUT that second?
Deciding to have a second baby is, in my mind, similar to deciding to voluntarily inject yourself with an unpredictable flu virus. You’ve had the flu before so you have some idea of the awfulness to expect, but this time things could get extra nutty. Or not. Who knows? It’s positively frightening. So much more frightening than with a first baby because you know the hell you are inviting on yourself. Oh sure, you thought you knew the first time, but you didn’t really know did you? People said, “pregnancy can be really hard on the body” and you thought, “oh but I’ll do yoga the whole time and things will be glorious.” But you didn’t do yoga – you were on bedrest for 12 weeks so instead you developed a jelly bean ‘problem’ and melted your brain watching ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’. People said “you’ll never sleep you know” and you thought, “yes, yes but it will be a labour of love and anyway, don’t babies sleep all the time? I’ll be fine.” But you weren’t fine – you spent months on the edge of insanity, just barely cobbling together enough energy to make toast because it turns out that yes, babies do sleep “all the time” but “all the time” means for 5-10 minute stretches, after which they want to eat…AGAIN!
Or maybe that was just me.
Anyway, second babies are frightening.
In other number two news, Budsie has started to tell me all about his number twos, which I’m told is a good thing. I tell you, it’s a twisted world I live in where talking about poo is a good thing. A twisted world.
ezmy writes 
1.5 years is when many second babies begin because the 18 month old-ish baby is so delightful! (Especially Budsie!) And then you have babies 2.25 years apart which seems harrowing to me, as delightful as 2 year olds are, they’re pretty needy creatures and I never felt I got a thing done between 2 and 3 years, so the thought of mothering a tiny baby during that period terrified me..
stick to one baby. there are enough crazies out there that are having 3 and 4 to keep the population rate on an increase. ;)
If you think too much about a second it will never happen. :-) It is the easiest thing in the world to talk yourself out of. Which is why we don’t have a third.
@Brie…so that makes so much sense! When we started *trying* for the 2nd and thought it would take awhile, you can imagine our surprise to have had it happen immediately. So ours will be about 19 months apart. Thinking is over-rated :)