Just back from Niagara-on-the-Lake. How was the trip you ask? Well, I’m currently sipping coffee out of a kick ass William and Kate coffee mug so obviously it was the awesomest trip ever. A. and I went on our first vacation without Budsie and man alive did we have a good time. Weddings and wine and six hour conversations including a glorious debate about whether or not it is worth divorcing me over my purchase of a William and Kate coffee mug (I obviously won, though I’m not convinced that A. doesn’t think just a little bit less of me now). A most excellent vacation.
On the resolution front things have been ticking along, but rather than recap all of the ones I’ve missed I’ll simply say that 75% of the resolutions made in the last two weeks have been successful. Not bad, really. Not bad at all.
No, instead of recapping resolutions, I’m going to use this post for a sample conversation between A. and myself. I should preface by saying that I have no recollection of how we got on the topic of ‘zillions’ but I don’t think that this lack of information takes away from anything. I should also set the scene by noting that the whole conversation was had in bed, in pitch black darkness at around 12am.
Ezmy: Zillion is totally a word.
A.: Yes, but it doesn’t mean anything.
Ezmy: What do you mean it doesn’t mean anything? It means lots. Zillion is a real word, a real number, and it means lots.
A.: It’s not a number.
Ezmy: Yes it is.
A.: No it’s not. Look it up.
Ezmy: Fine. I will look it up. I will look it up and you will be wrong.
*gropes around for trusty iphone, finds it and looks up “zillion” on Wikipedia*
A: Well? What does it say?
A: Nothing at all? Nothing about ‘zillion’ being a made-up number?
Ezmy: It doesn’t say ‘made-up’.
Ezmy: It says ‘fictitious’.
Ezmy: Pfft, it has “zillion” in the same category as “gajillion”. Gajillion is obviously not a number. But zillion totally could be. And everyone knows that anybody can edit Wikipedia. It’s hardly a reliable source.
A: It’s not a word.
Ezmy: Then what comes after billion (note: at this point, Ezmy knows she’s wrong but is being stubborn)? Eh? Can’t answer that can you? That’s ’cause it’s zillion.
A: It’s not zillion. It’s…well, it’s….look it’s not zillion.
*Time passes. Discussion moves on to chatter about other numbers, numbers that do exist. Conversation then turns to negative numbers. That’s right – my husband and I talk about negative numbers at 12:30am. Hot!*
Ezmy: …I always liked multiplying negative numbers. Because it was easy to remember that two negatives make a positive since that’s how sentences are constructed.
A.: What do you mean two negatives make a positive?
Ezmy: You know, like -2 multiplied by -2 makes 4.
A.: That can’t be right.
Ezmy: Well it is.
A.: No, that sounds wrong.
Ezmy: That may be, but it’s not wrong. It’s right.
*Ezmy gropes around again for trusty iphone, punches in -2 x -2 and lo and behold, the answer is 4*
Ezmy: *gives phone to A.* See? 4.
*A. clears the number, punches in -2 x -2 and, unsurprisingly, gets 4*
A.: That’s bullshit.
I feel as though I came away from these conversations on top. Zillion should be a number, after all, and -2 x -2 always equals 4. Double win for Ezmy? I think so.
Update: I know that trillion comes after billion. But it should be zillion.
One thought on “positively zillions”
Please tell me you also talked about googols. If not, then bring it up tonight. Waaaaayyy hotter than a gajillion.