I’ve been dating properly since I was 12 years old.
I’ve had 4 serious relationships: highschool sweetheart, drug addict (everyone has to date at least one drug addict :S), messy emotional up and down fuckwit, and messy emotional up and down fuckwit times a billion.
I’ve dated a wide range of men and women from the lower to upper crust.
I’ve seen it all: bad loafers with steve urkel pants and voice higher than mine, the guy who forgot to mention that he had a gf and then didn’t see what the problem was, the guy who thought biting was cool (?), tonsil extractors (both male and female), the guy who gave a detailed play by play of his hockey game (2 hour conversation), the guy who spelt his name with the number 5 in the middle of it (Ro5b – seriously), the Australian who turned out to be gay, the Catholic guy who didn’t believe in sex before marriage or smoking but thought drinking like a madman was totally fine (last time I saw him, he was standing on Douglas St. with a giant sign that said ‘kiss the 20 year old virgin’…), the guy with the massive gun and knive collection hidden in his wardrobe, the guy who had to pee five times everytime we made out, the stalker who scared me so much that I couldn’t look at mountain bikers again for two years, the alcoholic girl who passed out everytime we went anywhere, the guy who left a 50 cent tip on a 50$ bill, the guy whose room was covered in pictures of himself taken by himself, the guy who forgot to mention he was homeless, the videogame addict who cancelled a date because he was winning an online battle, the guy who professed his undying love on the second date….and so much more.
The thing is, is that they all LOOK and ACT normal the first time you meet them. No one mentions the fact that they are cheap/with someone/gun obsessed/crazy/gay/homeless/narcissistic/alcoholic/drug addicted/etc right off. So then what happens? If you’re lucky, they drop some accidental hints on the first date but sometimes it takes two or three dates to realize the problem(s). And then what? You’ve wasted more bloody time. Sigh.
So where ARE you!? I’ve had it with this process of elimination. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I refuse to go back out there and look for you. I’m done. You find me.