The first 20 months of Budsie’s little life were an absolute whirlwind for A. and I. It was a time marked by sleepless nights, frustration, joy, and an ever-present smell of diapers, baby soap, and boobmilk/formula. And while there were huge changes – crawling, standing, walking, and eating – Budsie still looked and acted like a baby and so nothing really seemed to change at all, in a way.
In the last month and a half, my baby has turned into a person. A talking, walking, opinionated, kind and helpful little person. A person who sleeps in his own big boy bed, who outgrew his sleep sac and now uses a pillow and blanket, who no longer wants pacifiers, who tells me stories and remembers the words to songs, who wants to toilet-train, and who knows all of his colours and letters. A little man who carries laundry for his Mum, who likes to organize the sticks in the park, who loves meeting his daddy at the door each night, and who insists that shoes are put in the right place.
At the same time as these big changes have happened, Spring has arrived out of nowhere. Which brings me to the time travel aspect. Having a toddler is like going back in time. Budsie smells like the park and peanut butter toast, just as my little brother smelled when we were kids. When we play in the sand, I can remember having conversations with my siblings and cousins in the very same kinds of sandboxes. When I sit on the porch eating melon in the sun with my little man, I feel as if no time at all has passed between this day and the days when I sat on the porch in Prince George and organized the rinds into happy faces. The air, the food, everything reeks of nostalgia, of bike rides, picnic table snack-times, and the adventures of my childhood, and yet all of it is new for my Budsie.
So – freakin’ – strange. And a little sad – why does everything happen so fast?