august 8: why is my printer being a jerk

(written yesterday)

It’s been a day full of jerks, really.

First, my jerk iPhone app for the Globe and Mail crashed while I was trying to put the kid down for a nap, causing me to curse involuntarily and thus causing Budsie to poke his head up and laugh. Boo.

Later, when I went grocery shopping with Fialonia, we parked the car and plugged more than enough money into the meter to cover off a grocery trip. Or so we thought. Lame people in line ahead of us with ridiculous requests, me being all helpful citizen and picking up a spilled jar of twist ties for an old lady, and the case of the missing frozen vegetable section all resulted in us being 5 minutes late. Surely, I thought, the parking meter guy won’t pick this day to be near our car. Silly Ezmy – whenever you are running late for legitimate and largely out of your control reasons, the parking meter guy will definitely be there. Argh.

Finally, this afternoon my printer gave a last effort to print a document, choked and went into a coma. Just as I was trying to print out a work document. Granted, the printer had been sick for quite some time, but it was a jerk move on the part of my printer to go all comatose when I was trying to print something important.

My gut reaction was to consider the printer ruined beyond repair and to begin mentally preparing myself for another purchase we can’t afford. But then I thought: “You know what? No. I’m going to try to fix this beast. Surely there are troubleshooting tips and such like for my printer on the interwebs.”

Today’s resolution: fix printer using troubleshooting tips and such like.

*1.5 hours later*

GODDAMMIT!

Stupid effing no good sonofaetc printer. To Canon’s credit, I was easily able to find troubleshooting tips on their website. I was made to feel comforted and confident by the list of ‘Try This’ stuff available to me. I pressed buttons I didn’t know existed on my printer, found helpful menus, and performed a myriad of printing tasks, all of which culminated to reveal the following: my printer is broken.

Sigh.

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