The phrase which appropriately sums up my last week: Are you KIDDING me!?
April 3 saw Budsie get the stomach flu. Except that we didn’t know it was the stomach flu. He had no fever and seemed quite jolly between vomits so we thought it was something he ate. April 4 was recovery day but I still managed to get in resolutions and whatnot. April 5 started off fine and you’ll notice that I posted a delightful little resolution that day too. But around 8pm, April 5 started to suck. Bigtime.
I have never enjoyed stomach flu. I don’t suspect anyone enjoys it. But the addition of a screaming baby, who had decided that April 5 was also going to be the start date for some crazy no sleeping phase, makes stomach flu just plain unbearable. God. Hours spent curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the bathroom while Budsie wailed and yelled and refused all comfort from A. or from his vomit-drenched mother. Awesome.
April 6 is a fog. I spent the entire day marinating in my own filth on the couch while A. looked after Budsie and the house. Then, sometime around 8 or 9pm, I was trying to get Budsie to sleep with me on the couch and I suddenly smelled gas. And not gas of the baby variety. I called out to A. who said he could smell it too. This is a bad sign as A. can’t smell anything. Eek! So out Budsie and I go into the cold night air. A. grabs Zoe and we run over to the neighbours. Chaos ensues – where is the gas leak coming from? Where is the number for Enbridge? Gah. Eventually the Enbridge dude shows up and says that yes, there is a gas leak so the gas goes off and by extension, so does the hot water. My mind drifts to the piles of vomit laundry sitting in our bedroom, the dirty diapers stinking up our laundry room and my awesome smelly self. Oh and my mother is coming to stay with us the next day. GAH!
April 7. A. has to go back to work. I am shaky and smelly and gross but somehow still able to make coffee and look after the baby. I get Budsie down for a nap and decide that since I can’t do laundry, I might as well call my sister for a rant. While on the phone, a familiar stinky smell drifts through the hallway. A smell of litter box. Except that our litter box is downstairs. Fuck. I rush out to the living room to find a steaming pile of poo on one cushion and a puddle of cat pee on another.
At this point, I hate everyone.
I yell at the cat. I yell at the pile of vomit laundry. I yell at the hot water tank. I yell at the gas pipe. I tell Budsie, who is now awake and staring at me, that only Mummy is allowed to use those words.
Eventually, of course, everything calmed down. Someone showed up to fix the gas leak and we had hot water again. LG showed up with surprise lattes which fix everything. Mum arrived that evening and the house was in a relative state of calm. But I decided to step away from the computer for a few days and just eat and drink wine and chill with the family. No resolutions except to remember to laugh when you want to cry.
Fresh start today though. Resolution for April 11: research and purchase a new car seat. Any tips and words of advice are welcome here. There are so many bloody carseats on the market these days, I don’t even know where to begin.