Thirty-five

In honour of my 35th birthday, here are 35 things you may or may not know about me.

  1. I love lists. Not shocking, in light of this exercise, but there you have it. I make lists for everything – daily to do lists, gift making lists, books to read lists, resolution lists, etc. I still write most of my lists on paper, in part because I get more satisfaction from crossing things off with a pen than deleting words on my phone, and in part because….
  2. I am technologically impaired. I have a spiffy computer and smart phone and I have no idea what they are capable of. I don’t know how to use Reddit. I only just discovered podcasts. And I’m not sure how to pronounce ‘GIF’ so when it comes up, I usually mumble “Gggierf” or simply spell out “G-I-F file” to make it seem like I know what I’m talking about. I do not.
  3. I identify as pansexual. Which matters very little in terms of my personal life, because I just so happen to be in a heterosexual marriage. But I keep this identification, largely because being open about such things tends to make life easier for others who do not feel able to be as open.
  4. Tulips are my favourite flower. Followed closely by gerbera daisies.
  5. <– This is my favourite number.
  6. I am terrified of talking on, answering, or making calls on the phone. Skype is even worse. I will always email or text message, and often avoid activities where telephoning is the only option. I was ridiculously proud of myself for calling the hair salon a couple of weeks ago – it had taken me a few months to work up the nerve.
  7. I do NOT like scary/dark/tragic movies, documentaries, or television shows. I happily admit that I watch things to escape, and the last thing I want to do is escape somewhere scary and/or horrific. Friends. I liked Friends. And The Office. And Parks and Recreation. And almost any comedy/romcom created.
  8. I miss my siblings something terrible. I have a younger sister and a younger brother and I hate that I live so far away from them. It is my least favourite thing.
  9. I wish I could have more kids. Financially, physically, psychologically it would be a bad idea. But I wish it wasn’t.
  10. I love baking cakes. I am not particularly good at it (although I do make a damn good white cake), but it’s one of my favourite things to do. Because cake ALWAYS makes people happy.
  11. I have a terrible need to please people. I’m better at managing it now, but this often used to translate into my doing things for others that I did not want to do, or taking on more responsibilities than I was actually able to handle. These days, I try to channel the energy into baking for others, knitting for others, and being a good shoulder to vent on.
  12. I like being a shoulder to vent on. I have always been this person, although I’m not entirely sure why. Whatever it is, I don’t mind.
  13. I do not like killing bugs for the following reasons: 1) I hate the ‘crunch’ sound and 2) it makes me sad. Yes, I feel bad about the death of the stupid spider that bit me. I feel bad when ants get crushed by my two year old’s stomping feet – they were just doing their job and BAM dead. I feel bad for, albeit grossed out by the poor cockroaches lying on their backs in our house and covered in a slow-killing poison from outside.
  14. I love experimenting with new hairstyles and different outfits. I always have.
  15. I do not love flying, or being a passenger in any moving vehicle that is not being driven by me.
  16. I have control issues.
  17. I used to have severe anxiety problems, which often resulted in horrible panic attacks. This started when I was 11, peaked around my mid-twenties, and then significantly decreased after I met A. Which is not to say that A. fixed my problems – rather that being happy with A. freed me up to be happy with myself, and comfortable enough to confront the triggers to my anxiety issues. It’s a work in progress, but having support is crucial.
  18. I love donuts. They are the best thing ever. Better than cookies or cupcakes or macaroons or cake or pie. Donuts are the superior pastry.
  19. Second to donuts: french fries. The perfect meal for my mouth (my stomach would have STRONG objections to this meal): buttery escargot appetizer, red wine with french fries and gravy for dipping for dinner, basic chocolate glazed donuts for dessert. I am a simple woman with simple needs.
  20. Sometimes I worry that I will outlive my children. Sometimes I worry that I will die before they are ready.
  21. Most nights, while I’m brushing my teeth, I get a little sad about the loss of that day. Not because I’m particularly concerned about getting old, but more because I’m happy and I don’t want it to end.
  22. <– This was my hardest year. Post-abortion, bad break-up, terrible customer service jobs, beauty school drop-out, bit of a drinking problem, difficult living arrangements. I felt like I was drowning in a mess.
  23. I love mornings. LOVE THEM. I am at my best between 5am and 9am.
  24. I love naps.
  25. I don’t mind that our youngest still wakes up in the night wanting to join us in bed. It’s annoying when it happens before I’m ready to go to sleep, but I like the cuddles, and I like making her laugh before she goes back to sleep.
  26. Sometimes I am completely taken aback by my children. They are so beautiful, funny, and clever.
  27. Every so often I wish they would go away. Not for a long time, just for a night so I could feel just married, not married with children.
  28. <–This was the year that I started to figure out who I was, what I wanted.
  29. <–This was the year I got pregnant with my first baby.
  30. <–This was the year I got married.
  31. I think I have been particularly lucky when it comes to the friends I’ve made, although admittedly that I only have wonderful friends, and no “ugh-I-guess-we’re-friends-but-you’re-not-very-nice-to-be-around”, is largely due to my conscious effort to only surround myself with fun, smart, kind, honest and friendly people. I can happily say that all of the people I count as friends are freaking wonderful individuals.
  32. <–This is the year I got pregnant with my second baby.
  33. <–This is the year we moved to Israel. It was…a tricky year.
  34. <–This was my most satisfying year, hands down.
  35. I love birthdays. I love cake, I love presents, I love birthday flowers, I love growing up. I will admit that this was the first year that I sort of hesitated in my excitement – thirty-five seems more grown-up than I’m ready to be, and the stark reality of grey hair and a couple of more permanent facial lines was…unsettling – but all in all, I’m super jazzed about being thirty-five. It’s going to be an amazing year.
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