Ah, the second trimester.

Pros:

1) Eating an entire homemade pumpkin loaf in one sitting – something I may or may not have, but definitely did just do – is socially acceptable. At least I choose to believe it is, and few people are willing to pick a fight with a pregnant woman over food.

2) Increased energy. See pumpkin loaf note above. That’s right – I baked that! Couldn’t have brushed my teeth a month ago, and now I’m baking again. Win!

3) Vomit bags are no longer a staple in one’s purse. Or jeans pocket. Or glove compartment. Or bedside table. On a related note: no more only wearing hair in a ponytail because it’s the most conducive to regular vomiting.

4) Back to the food: everything tastes GLORIOUS! After months of most things tasting like awful and death, with all but the blandest of bland foods coming back up, the second trimester is like having your tongue re-tastebudded. Toast and jam? GLORIOUS! Egg noodles with green beans? GLORIOUS! Pumpkin loaf? OH SO GLORIOUS!

Cons:

1) Too small for maternity clothes, too big for regular people clothes. The modern woman has a number of tools at her disposal to tackle this situation – Bella Bands, loose-fitting dresses, and of course the MacGyver-esque safety pin+hair elastic solution – but none quite do the trick 100% of the time. I don’t care to think about the number of times I’ve looked down only to realize that my pants are totally undone and I’m showing my undies to the world. To be fair, these solutions did work a lot better when I wasn’t spending my days on park slides or sitting in a sandpile covered in rocks, pretending to be a ‘Mummy mountain’.

2) Energy does not equal stamina. That is, this new found energy is great and everything, but I keep forgetting that I really can’t stand for two hours to bake pumpkin loaf AND muffins AND snacktimes AND dinner. On several occasions in the past week, I’ve had to sit in the middle of the kitchen floor, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. Budsie thinks this is hilarious (“Mummy sit on kitkit floor BAHAHAHA!”), but all it does for me is make me realize I need to clean under the stove. Ugh.

3) You can easily forget you’re pregnant. And then suddenly be overcome with terror at what awaits you in mere months. Also, you can accidentally sip some wine, forgetting that you aren’t really supposed to be doing that (but delighting in the fact that it is oh so good).

4) This trimester is shorter than the others. Mathematically speaking it’s the same length. But it goes by way too fast. Waaaaay too fast.