(Scene: Ezmy is climbing into bed post-bathroom routine. A. is already in bed, calmly reading a news story on his iPad…)
A.: *still looking at his iPad* “So I’m just curious.”
Ezmy: “Hmmm?”
A.: *still looking at his iPad* “I’m curious…do you have some sort of competition going on with yourself?”
Ezmy: “…”
A.: *looks up, straight-faced* “Some sort of loudest toilet seat closing ever contest?”
Ezmy: “What? No! That was totally an accident.”
A.: *ignoring Ezmy* “…oooh, I wonder how loud I can slam it this week. Perhaps as loud as tectonic plates rubbing together? We’ll see!”
Ezmy: *sigh*
A.: *still ignoring Ezmy* “…the great thing about such a contest is that you always win. But then, you could always lose too. Like some days, you don’t outdo yourself. You just slam it as hard.”
Ezmy: *sigh*
(pause)
Ezmy: “Do you think that would be loud?”
A.: “What? Tectonic plates rubbing together?”
Ezmy: “Yes.”
A.: “Yes.”
Ezmy: “How do you know?”
A.: “Well, it’s sort of a tree-in-the-woods type thing, isn’t it? But one can assume…”
Ezmy: *ignoring A.* “Right, but you don’t know! It could be a soft sound. Like cotton.” *immediately thinks to herself that cotton isn’t a sound, but whatever.*
A.: “Of course I don’t know know. I mean, no one is actually standing next to them while it’s happening.”
Ezmy: “Ha. So you don’t know.”
A.: *sigh* “Yeah, but we’re talking about stuff rubbing up against other stuff…”
Ezmy: *snicker*
A.: “…in this case rock. Like lots of it. Fucking bashing up against itself.”
(pause)
Ezmy: “But you don’t know it’s loud.”
A.: *sigh*
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