Q: Why did Ezmy fall behind on posting this past long weekend?

a) The proposed May 21 rapture did in fact occur (haha, Camping!) and you’re all still here. Turns out, God was more interested in rapturing up the atheists and a handful of agnostics. Quite the sense of humour, that God.

b) She went through some sort of existential crisis following the abysmal failure of the proposed May 21 rapture, during which she was suddenly overcome by a menacing sense of her own mortality.

c) An oh so fabulous Women of Wallace Reunion took place over the weekend, one that featured delicious beverages, a rapping red-shirt man dancing for love, multiple patios, tulips, spiffy new duds, and a thrilling game of 80’s Trivial Pursuit.

d) Both b) and c)

e) None of the above. She just didn’t wanna.

(answer at the end of the post)

I did have a post all written up for May 20, but I forgot to post it and then when I read over it just now, I realized that it sucked. Huh. So now you’re stuck with this massive post. Perhaps it’s best to just provide a summary of the resolutions made and successfully completed (well, for the most part):

*Resolution for May 20: Let the kid eat dirt. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being sterilizing the kid’s mouth every 30 seconds and 10 being allowing the kid to eat anything except perhaps poison, I’d say I’m an 8. Exchanging sippy cups and soothers and slobber-drenched toys? No problem. Floor crud? Well, if it’s recent floor crud but anything older than a day and I try to stop it because when I don’t, I get looks from Budsie that suggest I’m a terrible mother for putting week old Cheerios on the floor. Dirt? Here, I just don’t know. My first instinct is to stop him because I know it’s going to taste uber gross. But then I think to myself, this is a kid who eats peas and drinks formula, which in my opinion tastes like sucking on pennies. Of course the other reason I instinctively try to stop him eating dirt is that I don’t know what’s in that dirt. Glass? Possible. Urine? Most likely. Sigh. I can feel The Judgey Mother Voice, the tiny one who resides in the back of my head, whispering things like ‘bet your kid is going to get Hepatitis Z from that dirt eating’ or ‘none of the other kids are eating dirt, what’s wrong with yours?’, which is ridiculous because almost everyone’s kids eat dirt at some point and mine just happens to be at that dirt eating age. Man, who needs other mothers judging me when I have this bitch in my head doing a bang up job all by herself? Yeesh. Anyway, I’m gonna let the kid eat dirt if he pleases and try to worry less about that kind of thing.

*Resolution for May 21: Make dinner at home, even when the ladies are in town. This resolution falls under the “Ezmy and A. are a wee bit cash poor these days” category. Generally speaking, when the Women of Wallace are in town for a reunion, I make a few nibblies but we end up going out a fair bit for drinks and dinners and whatnot. And I have to admit that while I was super duper wuper excited leading up to this long weekend, I was also a wee bit (read: very) nervous about the inevitable money I was going to spend. So I decided that I would make all of the dinners. Even if I was tired after a long day of shopping or whatever. Because it’s worth a bit of extra cooking to not feel guilty at the end of what would otherwise be a fantastic weekend. Success? Yes! Homemade pizza on the Friday, vegetarian stew with avocado and goat cheese salad on the Saturday, and (thanks to the ladies) cheese tortellini with raddichio and peach salad on the Sunday. Tasty good times at home with the gals. *beams*

*Resolution for May 22: Buy shorts with my gift certificates from xmas. Even though I look stupid in them. I’m a big fan of wearing skirts all year round because  I love love love funky lace tights. And I’m not a big fan of my thighs (I have maps of spider veins that would make an 80 year old woman do a double take) and skirts tend to hide them better. Plus there’s something about wearing a skirt that just brightens up an otherwise dull afternoon. But I only have two skirts that are really park appropriate and I sense that I will be spending quite a bit of time in parks this summer. That, and every bloody summer I curse myself for not having just one pair of shorts that I can throw on for a quick walk to the store or for windy days that make skirt wearing a potentially scandalous business. So when the Women of Wallace and I decided to go shopping on Sunday, I made a mental resolution to buy shorts. And I did! Two pair. Watch out, Ottawa! Ezmy’s pale and veiny legs will be flashed at you quite regularly this summer. Best to wear shades if you see her coming your way…

*Resolution for May 23: Learn to nap. I did not succeed on this one. Budsie decided to party all night long on Sunday night, leaving me looking like a washed up goat on Monday morning. Ugh. But even after the ladies went back to Montreal (boo!) and A. took the kidlet and I went downstairs and wrapped myself in cool sheets with the window slightly open, I still couldn’t do it. I have never been a good napper. And so many people said this would change when I had kids. Well it hasn’t. Sigh. Ah well, he slept ok last night and I feel less zombie-like this morning. Can’t win ’em all.

Phew. I have one for today that I’m working on as I type. Will post this evening.  But right now the kid is stirring and I need to grab the hopefully tasty cherry/blueberry/peach cobbler out of the oven for an upcoming Mr. T. and Ms. FM playdate. Busy busy busy!

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A: c)