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I don’t know who Linda and Roland are. But I do know this: they are weenies. ‘Save the date’ cards/emails/fridge magnets (that’s right, fridge magnets) are for weenies. Weenies who plan and prepare and who probably have other things like centerpieces and bootineres (spelling?) and monogrammed napkins all about 10 years in advance of the actual day.
Right?
Lately I’m not so sure. I’m trying to maintain my nonchalant, it’ll all come together by itself sort of outlook to this whole wedding business, but it keeps being jarred by ‘save the date’ nonsense or ‘what!? you haven’t booked a place yet!?’ comments or what have you. Subscribing to marthastewartweddings.com probably didn’t help matters (but she has such great ideas!! I can totally make 175 individually wrapped cupcakes with little personalized notes on top…can’t I?). The thing is when A. and I got engaged, we sort of tossed around a couple of ideas of what we wanted/didn’t want (to be honest, we probably talked more about the latter than the former) and I thought well, we have more than a year so that’s heaps of time, right? Apparently not. Apparently I’m supposed to book my hotel/caterer/ceremony location in the first 18 months and then go dress shopping a year before and have my colours all picked out about 20 years ago, etc etc etc.
I find myself slightly envious of women who knew what they wanted when they were 5 and the fact that I feel envious of these people irritates me. Also irritating? The poor naive you looks I keep getting from married folk whenever I say things like ‘oh I’m sure it’ll be pretty basic planning…invites, food, booze, music, dress, licence and we’re done right?’ These looks make me uncomfortable and cause me to question my core principles on the subject of wedding planning. I have always been of the mind that people make too big a deal of the wedding planning part. I mean who cares? It’s a big party. No one notices if the napkins say your name on them or if the flowers don’t perfectly match the dresses. What matters is that the food is good, the music doesn’t blow, and you have a marriage licence. That’s what I still think. But lately, the Martha Stewarts of the world have been inflitrating my sensible wedding brain. Case in point: when we ‘announced’ our engagement, we called a couple of people (parents and such) but then basically just posted the news on Facebook. Easy right? Wrong. Because the older relatives who can’t hear as well and who aren’t on Facebook didn’t hear directly from us. This made me feel bad so I got little cards to say that we were engaged. But then it seemed kinda silly to just write “We’re Engaged” on said cards so I figured we should pick a date. But now that we might have a date, I feel bad just letting the old folks know without telling the younger folks. But I don’t want to tell the younger folks because I don’t know who we are inviting yet. But but but but. On top of this, because of Martha Stewart (who will hereforth be blamed for everything), I actually stood and stared at these stupid little cards for a full 20 minutes, worrying about making a statement with the colour of them. Seriously. In the end, I opted to just write ‘we’re engaged’ on the cards and give a roundabout ballpark idea of when we might be getting married. Easiest thing really. But the fact that my mind went off track like that worries me. I musn’t be tempted by crazies. I must resist the urge to become ‘one of those brides’.
New recipe post tomorrow. Coffeecake!
ezmy writes 
>I had a lot more fun at the wedding of my friends who weren’t those people who had it all planned in their heads years in advance. It wasn’t fancy, but it was fun. (I was also in the wedding party of the less crazy bride, thank goodness she wasn’t bridezilla)The other wedding I went to was beautiful, but felt more uptight and people sat around more = had less fun.
>I have a lot to say about the wedding industry. Similar as to what I have to say about the baby product industry, but less critical because a wedding is not a human being. Call me and I’ll tell you. For what it’s worth, the ‘wedding industry’ type weddings I have been to have been … well, not fun. Best weddings? The one where the reception was in a high school cafeteria with only snacks so all the couple’s cash could pay for a good band AND a good dj and cheap drinks. The one where the South African Groom and Cape Breton Bride got married in a tiny church on New Years Eve by the bride’s catholic priest on a native reserve uncle. Her dress was made in bangladesh while she was working there for VSO. They rode up the street to her mother’s B and B on a tractor. We ate grocery store crackers and cheese. Then we had a dinner cooked by the community in a tiny hall. The people who couldn’t make it sent emails and letters that were read at the reception. Then we danced. It was excellent. Friends of ours were married in their living room last fall and then had an open house. It was sweet. The best part about my disastrous first marriage? Dancing on wet grass under an army tent (long story) sans groom (that was prescient) after eating dinner made by our summer friends and neighbours. Laughing with old friends. Letting my shoes get muddy. The best weddings are about love and laughter and old ladies dancing and little kids playing under the table. Not catering. Or cards. Or spending money and stress on crap.