>elevator loser

>So this morning, I was walking toward the elevator with a co-worker. We were chatting and paying little attention to a tall fellow directly in front of us. The tall fellow, wearing a t-shirt that says “I survived Team Building 2006” went into the elevator and began hastily pushing the ‘close door’ button. But since we were directly behind him, we managed to get in. He, elevator loser, was heading to the 13th floor. We were heading to the 5th floor. The following dialogue ensued:

Elevator Loser: (muttering) “crap, missed it.”

minute passes…

Elevator Loser: (to the other guy in the elevator) “That’s my biggest pet peeve. When people get on the elevator after me, and then get off on a floor before me.”

Other guy: “yeah, I know eh?”

I’m sorry, but WHAT? God. I have days where I wonder if I’m even remotely related to the human species. This was one of those days. One can only assume that this man is constantly peeved since we work in a building with 13 floors with hundreds of other people who, presumably do not all get off on the 13th floor with elevator loser or avoid this man’s elevator like the plague. Every morning, these people all crowd into the elevators to get to their offices, often spilling coffee on my shoes and chattering about their sex lives/children/spouses or what have you. How does he manage? Interesting also is that THIS is his biggest peeve. Biggest. My good lord but this man lives in a tiny world. He’s not as peeved by say, people who walk at the pace of snails through the mall. He is not as peeved by people who refuse to remove their screaming child from a movie theatre. He is not as peeved by people who don’t put their turn signal on until the last possible second, thus forcing you to sit behind them through an entire light and the one after while you wait for them to turn left. Nope. People using the same elevator as him without having the courtesy to get off on the same floor as him. THIS is what really cooks his cheese.



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