>Sample dialogue of an all too common customer service situation which may lead me to do one of the following: stab the customer with the most readily available object (clothing hanger, clothing u-bar, etc), or stab myself with the fake-apple scented, sparklely green pen which has been assigned to me.
Me: “Hi there. Are you looking for something in particular?”
Idiot Mother: “Will this t-shirt fit my daughter?”
Let’s set aside for a moment the fact that this question does not answer my question, which is annoying by itself. The only appropriate answer to this annoying question is “I don’t know.” But what I really want to say is “I don’t know you silly cow. YOU gave birth to her. YOU live with her, and have done for the past 10 years. I, on the other hand, have never laid eyes on your offspring and therefore have absolutely no idea if this random t-shirt will fit her. Ideally this shirt fits the average ten year old. But how do I know if your child is average? She could be a whale or, judging by your over-tanned-stair-mastered-to-death-self, anorexic. I just don’t know. And frankly I don’t care. Die.”
5 thoughts on “>a sign of posts to come.”
>Love it. Maybe the theme of your blog should be stupid customers! ha ha.
>I feel for you. There were countless times while I worked at Chapters that customers would ask me if I could help them find a book and the only information they had was the colour of the cover.Luckily, the new job has me locked away in an office where I happily go about my day counting money and happy that I’m not talking to people.
>danasaur: it may very well come to that…hatred of people is certainly increasing
>andrea – I am in the process of hunting for a non-people job. Very much looking forward to shutting myself in an office somewhere…even if it’s to staple together post-its for hours on end. “Hi…I’m looking for a book…it’s red. Do you have it?” Fuck. Off.
>oh god…the idiot mother. you should make a talking doll called the idiot mother. so i can beat the shit out of it.